Busted.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Six months after I started this blogging adventure, and barely a month after I gave thanks that no one I had written about had found the blog, it happened. Someone I had dated, who I had written about, busted me. He emailed me (which we sometimes still do), saying he had come across my blog and was "intrigued". Before I even had a chance to decide how to respond - do I tell him about the post he’s featured in? - he wrote back this: oh, so I am TOTALLY Hobbes!

And he is. Fortunately he was not featured in a Failed First Date or even worse, a Worst Date Ever, I wrote about him in the post How Long Should You Wait for The Spark?.

In my response I included this ridiculously run on sentence: “This is new for me. I feel a teeny bit awkward but mostly I think it's funny and I hope you don't feel bad about what I wrote and also thanks for reading and saying you like it.” What am I, twelve?

Better back and forth email ensued, in which we mostly talked about... his hair. He describes his previous, longer hair as cringe-worthy. I thought it suited him, actually, but now he’s sporting a shorter, more professional do, and also, a beard. I always did like emailing with him, never could tell where the conversation would lead us.

Back on the topic of having an open window into my dating life, he went as far as to say “Honestly reading it has made you more endearing because it demystified what little I knew about you personally and made you more human with some of the same struggles and insecurities that I have. That any of us have.”

I’m not sure about being mystifying, but he’s definitely onto something. I used to hide the things that made me feel insecure or uncomfortable from even my nearest and dearest. I felt embarrassed, I guess, and thought it would change, in a bad way, how they felt about me. As it turns out, that's crap, and writing this blog has helped me open up about everything that affects me, flattering or not. Through it I’m becoming more comfortable with who I am and that’s bettering all my relationships, not just my dating ones.

He offered to not read the blog, but it honestly doesn't bother me. I‘m glad that he gets to see who I am, if only in my dating realm. I think I'm starting to prefer the honest and upfront approach. Maybe I'm not busted, after all.

Oh and since he’s clearly not sure why I nicknamed him Hobbes in the post, it’s because of his old email signature: It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy....Let's go exploring! [Bill Watterson]

Let’s go exploring, indeed.

7 comments:

Nicole said...

This guy actually sounds pretty cool - and you were pretty complimentary of him in your initial post. A good person to have found that blog. Is he out-of-region now?

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Ha. I've had two dates send me emails after I wrote about them - one threatening to sue me. Then another girl heard herself described on the radio when my blog was serialised. And now I have a mystery texter/phone caller who I don't recognise but apparently dated and wrote about...
plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

Jenny DB said...

good read, and hobbes sounds like a sweet & sensitivo...(at least in his reaction to your blog) too bad he's gone, and well.. the whole no spark thing :)

Dater at Large said...

Nicole: He is out of region, and he is pretty cool. It's a conundrum.

Jenny DB: He is also those things. With the emailing we've done lately I wonder whether the spark would have come in time. I guess that's why they say timing is everything!

PMFOOW: With your dating stories, I can't believe you don't have MORE angry girls trying to hunt you down :)

jo said...

it's a pity there wasn't a spark 'coz he does sound like a good guy. i'm glad that you being busted didn't really wind up to be too awkward. i would freak out majorly (and that's putting it mildly!) if anyone found out bout mine.

cleanslate2010 said...

oooh! i just started a dating blog and have been thinking a lot about how to handle it if someone finds out you are writing about them. i'm happy it all turned out well in this situation!

sorry too about the lack of spark with a good guy. that seems to happen all the time :S

Dater at Large said...

CleanSlate, welcome! I'm still chatting with Hobbes, and will see him in person in early Feb, so we'll see how him reading the blog plays out in a few weeks.