Actions Speak Loudest of All

Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I’ve been holding off on writing about my recent crush, partly because things were in a holding pattern of sorts but mostly because I was hoping things would take a turn for the better. I’m convinced now that they will not.

The pattern basically goes like this:
  • (him) Lame text message or suggestive pseudo date invite
  • (me) Positive response that requests action (like a phone call) or actual plan
  • (him) Lame text message response indicating humor at above suggestion
  • (me) Strong response indicating that I’m (a) not kidding or (b) pretty sure that he’s simply not interested
  • (him) Solid response back that he is sorry and interested and will be planning a date
Then there is a three day break in communications, in which I hope to hear from him but do not. After two and a half rounds it has become clear that whatever these messages from him say, they won’t be leading to anything involving an in-person meeting.

I’m not sure what his aim is in continuing to reach out - Does he believe the things he’s saying? Is he just trying to keep me hanging on while he tries out other ladies? - but it doesn’t matter. His actions speak louder than any text message or phone call ever could.

As for me, I’m pretty bummed about this latest disappointment, I so rarely meet someone I feel such an immediate connection with. I so rarely really put myself out there and believe someone I’ve just met. But I did believe him and now I feel like a fool.

He’s not direct, he’s not forward, and he’s definitely not interested in dating me. Oh and he shouldn’t start up a dating consulting service with his friend like he mentioned on our date. Unless he’s Exhibit A.

14 comments:

jo said...

aww hun... i hate this part too. it's always the hardest when you feel that the guy had real potential. to quote the infamous line... he's just not that into you. next.

a girl that likes bread said...

when i read your story, i was blown away by the similarities in our lives...and i'm not talking about a little, i'd swear it was the same boy: freakin' loves to text & hates to pick up the phone for a phone call. even the last couple sentences "shouldn't start up a dating consulting service with his friend..." that is also eerie familiar - scary.

All Women Stalker said...

Previous comment is intriguing. COuld it be the same boy?

Dater at Large said...

Thanks, Jo!

And welcome new blog readers!

I have already looked at AGTLB's blog and it sounds like we're in different areas of the country, so thankfully we do not appear to be dating the same shady character. Unless he travels? :-0

Anonymous said...

When it comes to all men close your ears to what they say and only go by what they do. ISS

Miss Alpha said...

Way to trust your instincts and let it go. Trust me, when they want you it's hard to tear them away. Until then, it's whatever. Chin up!

Kitty Moore said...

He sounds like an idiot - clearly he is not good enough for you.

Kitty x

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Forget this loser girl. You want a man who wants you.
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/

Dater at Large said...

If only knowing he was a douche bag made me feel better about liking him.... . I do appreciate the support, though, thanks all!

Kate said...

Ah men that run hot and cold are just not worth the bother. Plus they are generally crap in bed...

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Kelly said...

I agree with Fishy. This guy is probably texting other girls and seeing who he can get. Forget him...you can do better.

Do guys call anymore?

Dater at Large said...

Kelly: He's most certainly texting, we all now he's incapable of calling!

Princess T said...

I've been in that holding pattern before! sucks... Now I'll only give a 'positive response that requests action' once - after that it's crickets until I get a real phone call. So far it only works in breaking the holding pattern faster... At least that's something.

Love the blog!

Dater at Large said...

Princess T: Thanks! The holding pattern is SO frustrating, but I'm glad to have it if it weans out the not interested folks.