You Could Never be Better than Her…
I Hope You Understand

Wednesday, January 27, 2010
long distance emails
possible romantic match
he loves someone else

Ohhh, I knew it! I was completely spot on with the fall off in communications with Hobbes. Today I get this email that basically says he’s in love with someone else (and has been for a long time) and although she hasn’t been interested and/or the timing was off she is definitely interested, now, and so he’s going to pursue that.

He says he’s sure I’m bummed and this might be a surprise to me. Bummed? Maybe a little, but like I said I wasn’t sure whether we’d click romantically and we do have a bit of a distance issue. Surprised? Please, if I’ve learned anything in my dating adventures it’s that my gut is unbelievably accurate. I think I called this about a week ago.

He also says obviously we won’t be meeting up when I’m out there in a few weeks, since it wouldn’t be fair to lead me on if there’s something possible with someone else. Honestly? I think we could meet for drinks regardless; he can be honest about his romantic availability (or lack thereof) and still meet me for friendly drinks.

But this email feels more like I’ve been kicked to the curb. Even though he says he enjoys chatting with me and would be up for continuing if I am it’s abundantly clear in his email how his feelings for this girl obliterate any feelings for me, entirely. I 100% believe that he’d have sent the same email if this girl’s change of heart had happened after we had met up, no matter how great a time we might have had. That part stings a little, especially given some of the exchanges he and I have had as of late, but I don’t have any hard feelings. I certainly wish him the best.

I wish me the best, too. It does seem a little unfair, though.

Calvin’s Dad: The world isn't fair, Calvin.
Calvin: I know, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?


Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

I love the way you give a full insight into your love life - I never feel like you're leaving stuff out, unlike some other dating blogs. Excellent.

Princess T said...

I think you're completely right that he would have left you in a second for this "other girl" if she suddenly decided to show some interest in him, so it's better that you've found out now before getting involved.

As we say: next!

Teri said...

you definitely called that one. good for your for trusting your instincts.

also, i love the quotation at the end of your post. that is exactly how i feel sometimes.

Miss Alpha said...

"Surprised? Please, if I’ve learned anything in my dating adventures it’s that my gut is unbelievably accurate."

You're awesome.

Anonymous said...

I think it is a bummer that he wasn't more open with you. It bugs me when people try to hedge their bets like this. And why can't you have a drink...that is childish and weird too. I hope that it works out for him with this new girl b/c you can do better than this mixed message guy.

Dater at Large said...

Fishy: Thanks very much! There is some stuff left out but I am very complete in what I do share.

All: Thanks for the support! I may still meet up with Hobbes for a drink - it's next week - at least to decide for myself whether I would have even wanted to pursue something. We'll see, we'll see.

All Women Stalker said...

While it was nice of him to finally tell you, it's still a bit sad that this happened.

jo said...

aww hun. but at least he was nice enough to tell you instead of just poofing on you for forever.

i loved that calvin and hobbes quote and so apt since you've nicknamed him hobbes.

Kate said...

Aw that sucks but at least you found out now - rather than after a few dates. Never fun to date someone with someone else lurking in the background.

Wish you all the best

Kate xx

Dater at Large said...

Kate/AWS: Agreed it is better to know now, but why did "now" have to be a mere 10 days before I was supposed to actually see him in person?!

jo: I found a C&H quote on purpose, glad you enjoyed it!

SaneAndSingle said...

I love the Calvin and Hobbes quote!! So so true! LOL

Sorry about Hobbes, but at least you can move forward!