Even though I’ve spent the better part of this year making sport of the dating deficiencies in the men I seem to attract I clearly ended up on the “Nice” list. I received an early, awesome Christmas present on Wednesday in the form of my latest first date.
We met on Match.com in short order. Wink (his), email (mine followed by his), phone call (mine), date suggestion (his). We met for drinks (his suggestion) at a bar where we could catch the basketball game (my contribution). Simply put we hit it off.
I won’t bore you with the adorableness of a great first date (except to say there was hand holding while walking the streets of the city while it snowed) but I will say this. When you meet someone you have chemistry with, you know right away. I think I had forgotten what that feels like - it’s exciting and nerve-wracking and full of promise. Lesson #1: No one should waste their time trying to manufacture chemistry. Just keep looking till you find it.
The other thing about this one is I think I’ve met someone who will actually be a good personality match for me. For awhile now I've been thinking (read: know) I should date someone who’s more type A than I, someone who says what he thinks and goes after what he wants. This guy is super direct, focused, and kind of intense (in a way that makes him even hotter than he already is).
I will have to seriously step up to the plate to date this man. You see, even though I am perfectly capable of stating my mind in my non-dating life, I get all insecure like in my dating life. I think I seek out relationships with guys who won’t expect me to talk about feelings and such, who aren’t capable of being that strong guy presence. Those relationships don’t work, because I'm holding back, waiting for them to drive things forward and they never will.
That will not be the case with this man, and he deserves someone who is available and honest about what they're feeling. Lesson #2: Put yourself out there. When you do meet someone you click with, don't hold back (especially if it challenges some of your dating insecurities).
So I’m excited, a little nervous, and hopeful. More to come on this one, say early next week after our already scheduled Monday night (football) date?
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5 comments:
Chemistry is important. And you can't argue with it. Though couples I know have told me it's grown between them - meaning it wasn't initially present. Also, the initial chemistry always turns into something else...you might not feel those butterflies after the seven-month itch...
http://plentymorefishoutofwater.blogspot.com/
Yes, chemistry is a must-have! Good luck with the new guy, and keep us updated!
You are spot on about a personality making a guy better looking. Shortly after a wonderful friend introduced me to my husband, I had to ask another friend if he was really as good looking as I thought he was - or if his perfect-for-me personality was clouding my perception :) (It was the former.) Looking forward to developments!
Thanks all!
PMFOOW: I agree that chemistry grows, too, but for me I think there has to be an initial spark to get the ball rolling.
N: If personality makes him MORE attractive to me I'm all for it!
Sounds like some good realizations:)
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