I Did Not See This Coming

Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Late Sunday night I received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize that I let go to voice mail. Monday morning I noticed a text message from that same number. It read: Hi I know you don’t know me please call me it’s about a guy you dated that I have been with for the last 2 years. Thank you.

I waited till I got into the office to return the call and after a caveat statement saying this was the weirdest conversation I’d probably ever have I was asked if I had dated a man named Surf Dude.

Uh, hold the phone, please. Surf Dude?! The man who can’t even return a phone call? The man who had sent me hundreds of text messages during football season trying to get me to appear at his place? The man who just offered to cook me dinner and wanted to spend a romantic evening with me? The man I had just decided to give the boot to? Again?!

Over the next twenty minutes or so I was deluged with information, all of which I find fascinating and almost unbelievable. I couldn’t wrap my head around it, except to think that I had (a) never met the real Surf Dude and (b) had hit the blogging motherload.

First and foremost, I was the 5th of out 7 girls to return calls to the gal we’ll call Girlfriend #1. I didn’t think Surf Dude possessed the necessary fortitude it would take to carry on any deception, let alone several, but boy was I mistaken.

Girlfriend #1 seems to be a “real” girlfriend, who knows his family and has spent holidays there and has been dating him (with a few breaks) for the past two years. She happened upon his old phone, and due to clear shadiness on his part decided to investigate.

Based on her conversations, there are like 3 "girlfriends", and I have known him for just over two years, so I’m smack in the middle of the overlap period. He is actively talking to all of us, on and off. Some of the gems about the multiple relationships include:
  • A 19-year old girlfriend (he's 32 or so)
  • A woman who is apparently heartbroken that he's dating a whole harem
  • A women who has lent him a few thousand dollars (yet to be repaid)
  • A women who is “hooked up” with our city and Surf Dude has reaped the benefits of free everything, from hotel rooms to the basketball tickets he was supposed to score for he and I this upcoming weekend!
  • A whole host of naughty photos sent to Surf Dude’s phone
  • Multiple reports of issues in the bedroom (I can't report on that, btw)
Oh and also he’s apparently broke, perhaps due to his potential gambling and drinking problems.

Fortunately, I’m only on the periphery of the deception. After all, we’ve only gone on a handful of dates spread out over a lot of time and I picked up on his flakiness right away. I've never bought him anything more expensive than a beer. Appears I got off easy (well, that or these women REALLY need dating advice).

Girlfriend #1 was gathering information with which to hurl at Surf Dude when she picked him up from the airport Monday. What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on that wall! To the end, I’ve already sent the friendly text to see if I can be a “friend” to him… and I'm passing along my blog to her.


jo said...

omg! i so did not see this coming either. i'm so glad that you found out that he's such a jerk. thank goodness you had some smarts and dating savvy to not get sucked into his game. this is crazy.

LuckyGirl said...

WOW. This IS the motherload! As I always say, and the reason behind "How Very Lucky", BAD SITUATION EQUALS FUNNY STORY. Yours is a great blog. Looking forward to following!
Lucky Girl

Miss Alpha said...

Motherload, indeed! Can't wait to see how it pans out. I feel bad for the gal who was heartbroken... How are you doing? Way to trust those instincts!!

You Make My Date said...

Holy crap! That's INSANE! What a douchebag. I can't quite decide which of his actions was the worst (excluding the multiple cheating thing), but thank god you escaped with your wallet and heart in tact!

LuckyGirl said...

dater - would you message me (i don't see a link to e-mail you here). got a question that would be better off-line. thanks!

Dater at Large said...

It IS crazy, isn't it?! Thanks Miss Alpha for the concern about me, I'm doing just fine! Talking to Surf Dude was what I did when I was bored with the guys I was seeing (or out of guys) and was sometimes fun but mostly frustrating (since I never actually saw him).

I'll let you guys know if I hear back from him (or Girlfriend #1) with more scoop!

Kitty Moore said...

What an arsehole - lucky your 'loser radar' is fully operative!

Happy New Year

Kitty x

Plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Oh my God, move over Casanova, this guy's my new hero! Ace post.
PS sorry for your loss :-)

Nicole said...

Maybe this guy did need some dating instructions from you after all. Ah, never mind, he's past all hope. I'm glad you made the decision to give him the final boot before you even found out about this nonsense.

Nicole said...

Oh, and how funny that she calls him Surf Dude too :) (Just kidding of course)