Failed First Dates:
This Train is Leaving the Station

Thursday, December 30, 2010
lounge car conductor
high on chatter, low on teeth
not stable enough

When I got an email from OK stating that The Conductor and I had rated each other with high marks, I thought he’d be a great match for my plan to skip the get-to-know-you phase and go straight to dinner.

I wrote him a very direct email about wanting to grab sushi and he responded in the positive, although he made me do the math to figure out when he was available (he works 2 ½ days and off 2 ½ days). It wasn’t until this week, and despite having started communicating before the holidays we didn’t really chat until we actually met up for dinner last night. I considered the date basically blind.

He started off looking quite attractive - good height, nice eyes, potentially sexy facial hair - but as I was diligently paying attention to his chatting I noticed he seemed to be lacking several teeth. In a row. Possibly on two sides of his mouth. As someone who paid for her orthodontic work as an adult, bad teeth are a huge turn off for me. They’re also very confusing, certainly something you might consider explaining to the pretty lady sitting across from you.

It’s not all about looks, though, and I thought he had some great boyfriend qualities – close with family, interested in cycling (motor and bike), chef quality cooking skills. As I learned more about him I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe he wasn’t as stable as I’d expect (or want) someone 5 years my senior to be. He seemed fairly intelligent, and clearly employable - he’d been in the Army reserves, restaurant kitchens, data processing, the Army again and currently two plus years into his lounge car job serving snacks to passengers on trains – but nothing that seemed like he’d settled on a career. In fact he mentioned possibly wanting to get his bachelors. In what, he didn’t say.

Which is odd, because he was the one doing all the chatting. I did get the opportunity to talk about my job a bit (like that’s what I want to talk about) and I inserted a few comments about myself here and there, but mostly, he talked and I tried to stay interested in hearing him.

I'm happy to give him some leeway for nerves, and I can even overlook that he spit a few pieces of rice at me while talking (although I'd rather not), but he actually cut me off twice mid-sentence when I was attempting to contribute my own story amidst his.

I have a thing for common courtesy. And a full set of teeth. And the movie White Christmas, which is unfortunate, since now my visions of a cross country train adventure have been dashed.


Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Gawd, I hate it when they do that! Lesson number one of dating: always be interested in the other person!

Samantha said...

So, his profile picture didn't show the missing teeth? Too bad. Bad teeth are definitely a deal breaker!!

Nicole said...

Bad teeth are one thing. MISSING teeth are another altogether. Unless they come with a reasonable explanation, such as a dirt bike accident THAT SAME DAY. I have a tooth that frequently chips. It has never remained chipped for longer than 48 hours. Nor should anyone else's.

Dater at Large said...

Samantha: I went back and looked at his profile pics, and in almost every one he was smiling with no teeth. Can't believe I didn't notice it before!

The Baltimore Chop said...

I've found that dating, and OKCupid works better when it moves faster.

You can eat sushi and determine you don't like him, or you can exchange a bunch of emails, talk on the phone several times, meet for coffee, and THEN get sushi and determine you don't like him.

jo said...

well at least you got some sushi. that's always good. even if the date isn't.

Dater at Large said...

The sushi (and lychee martini) were definitely worth the trouble!