On the Fence (part 1 of 2)

Sunday, December 19, 2010
Should you go out on a date with someone you pretty much know it won’t work out with? Not because he doesn’t look decently attractive or because you don’t think you’ll have anything to talk about, but because of one of those likely insurmountable issues that you know about in advance. Like he lives in Canada. I’m sure the answer depends on the particular situation.
So here’s mine.

I’ve exchanged a few emails with a guy on OK Cupid, and he’s one of those performer types, which means we have completely opposite schedules. He actually put in his profile that he’s run into trouble with 9-5 gals, who won’t stay out past 10p. He’s proposed going to a comedy show followed by his buddy’s bar. Tonight. Sunday night.

My immediate thought was that it sounded like a late night, for a school night. I’m normally sleeping around 10p on Sundays, plus I’ve been trying to get up and work out in the morning. And then I thought, that’s exactly what he had written in is profile. I'm a 9-5 gal.

I probably shouldn’t have even responded to The Performer's first email, because I’m a realist, and I’ve dated this type before. I remember it being sort of impossible to spend time with that guy, because as a musician he was always at work during my free time, and I was always sleeping (or working) during his. We didn’t have enough schedule overlap and it wasn’t something that could be fixed without one of us drastically changing our lifestyle.

I did engage in conversing with this new guy, though, because there’s always that voice in the back of my head (or maybe it’s coming from my friends) saying that “this could be the one” or “what would it hurt to just go meet him and see”.

I am surprisingly torn. I would like to meet him and I’ve been wanting someone to hang out with (although I was hoping for sushi snacks). Maybe I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. But let's say I stay out late(r) than I would normally to see if we have a connection. What then? I hate to end something before it starts, but I like going to bed early. I don’t send emails at 4:50am, which is when I got his date invite. The last time I saw that time it was Tuesday morning, and I was heading to spin class, not heading back from the bars.

Had I thought of this earlier I could have used a blog poll and solicited feedback from you, dear readers. As it stands, I should have already decided. Guess I’m headed out for a run. It’s the best self-deciding mechanism I have.


jo said...

that's a tough one. sounds like at best, this is just going to be a "just friends" thing. i guess it depends on whether you feel like changing your schedule for the night. so what did you decide?

Anonymous said...

I would probably want to start something with the hope of romantic love. But knowing all that I know now, I wouldn't. It might be fun in the beginning, but you'll be tired a lot of the time...which in my case leads to extreme grumpiness...which usually leads to the demise of the relationship. Just my humble opinion. I'm curious to see what you end up doing!!!