"I Love the Smell of Napalm in the Morning"

"Smells like, victory." Kilgore

It’s a new year, dear readers, and I’ve got a new attitude to go with it. A friend asked me today whether this year was going to be “my year”, and you know what? I just decided it is. Maybe not the year I find true love, but this year is the year where I finally stop wasting time searching for it.

I’ll still be on the lookout, of course, I’m still hoping to come across it, and I understand that will take time and effort. No, what I’m talking about is not wasting any of my time and effort on anyone who isn’t amazing, who isn’t someone I can’t wait to talk to and spend time with.

That’s right, this year I stop wasting time on all those losers. Like Surf Dude. Remember him? After an entire year of silence he popped back up right before the New Year. A year to the day. He said he missed talking to me and hanging out. I bet he did. You know why? Because I am awesome to talk to and hang out with. And Surf Dude? He’s a lazy, shady douche bag who just wants to send millions of text messages to me. And several other women. At the same time. I can’t believe I wasted all that time thinking things *might* go somewhere with him. I can’t believe he thinks he can waltz back into my life after all this time and resume some semblance of a relationship (friendship or otherwise).

Of course I did try to get the scoop on Surf Dude’s shadiness, see I Did Not See This Coming, but basically he denied that the timelines were all overlapped. Said he’d been dating and breaking up in a cycle. Said he was sorry – not for being sketchy – but for having not reached out in all this time. I told him he didn’t have to answer to me, but several of those lady friends of his felt lied to. And since he wasn’t interested in giving me any gossip, I kicked his sorry ass back to the curb. Where it belongs.

ENOUGH, I say, of men who like me enough to use all their message minutes texting me but not any of their face time. ENOUGH, I say, of men who want me to do all the work in relationships. ENOUGH, I say, to the third and fourth and fifth chances, and to not wanting to be the bad guy and to not holding out for what I deserve.

Enough is Enough. Viva la 2011!