Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron.

Duder’s first response to me, sent at approximately 7pm, asked me when was a good time to call me the following night, so that he could have more time to develop another date idea. We’ve already established how obnoxious I find this behavior. He also basically says he has never been, and will never be a dancer. He suggests that perhaps he is giving himself more credit than he deserves in regards to putting himself outside of his comfort zone. That's right dude. One hundred percent certain.

Duder’s second response sent at approximately 11pm that same night, listed three very good activity date suggestions. Followed by each suggestion was why he didn’t think his suggestion was good.

Suggestion #1: The Driving Range

• Why I would have accepted: I LOVE the driving range, even more than I love golfing
• Why he pulled the idea: “that seems extremely ‘guy’ and not at all considerate of your wants”

Chauvinist much? I’m pretty sure that strip clubs are the only “guy” activity I know of.

Suggestion #2: Running

• Why I wouldn’t have accepted: Duder was new to running and seemed terribly self conscious about it. I definitely run with newbies, but it didn’t seem like something he would enjoy.
• Why he pulled the idea: Because he wouldn’t have enjoyed it. He said he knows I like it, and would like to cater to me even if it’s at the expense of his pride.

Oooh, martyr for a cause. And the cause is me! Look, if you don’t want to do something, don’t suggest it. With only the 2nd date I’m sure there’s plenty available that we both like to choose from.

Suggestion #3: Kickball

• Why I would have accepted: I really do want to practice before my kickball league starts
• Why he pulled the idea: He doesn’t have access to a kickball.

Problem Solving 101: Go fucking buy a kickball. You most certainly have access to stores, suburb boy, and probably access to $12.00.

Shit! Walter, you fuck... you fucked it up! You fucked it up! Her life was in our hands, man!

He again suggested we talk on the phone the next day to discuss. What is there to discuss? What is the matter with him? I can come up with my own reasons to decline your ideas; I don’t need you to torpedo them for me. If you want a girl to spend time with you at least pretend to think she would enjoy doing so.

And what’s with the stream of consciousness? I appreciate that coming up with dates can be hard work; I just wish he would have kept some of his thoughts to himself, or ran them by a pal. I had no idea how to respond in a positive way to his suggestions without tearing him a new one for the crappy presentation.

Obviously I had to wait another full day before responding. I did the only thing I could think of. I took getting together Friday off the table entirely, and suggested we try again from scratch.