Whatever Happened to Wooing?

Sunday, November 8, 2009
Wooing, by definition, involves effort on the part of the interested:
v.tr. 1. To seek the affection of with intent to romance. 2. (a) To seek to achieve; try to gain. (b) To tempt or invite. 3. To entreat, solicit, or importune.
v.intr. To court a woman.

Now, I’m not your average traditional girl, especially when it comes to the gushy stuff. Most everything that falls under traditional notions of “romance” makes me scrunch up my face in disgust but I do like some amount of effort in someone seeking my affection. I should be invited to spend time with someone so I can decide whether he is worthy of my returned affections. I should be tempted to throw caution to the wind, ignoring all my pre-conceived notions of how relationships should be and opening myself up to all the things that could be.

In short, I like some amount of formal courting when I’m getting to know a guy. For example, I think you should go on actual dates, planned in advance. I also think there should be some mystery to the other person, some ramp up in intimacy between an initial meeting and when you see them eating noodles in their underwear over the sink.

Without it, I have a hard time maintaining interest. Which is why I think Marathon Guy and I aren’t going to make it. Take the below text message “conversation” we had last week:

Marathon Guy: Hows ur night?
Me: Okay, just finishing up some work. You?
Marathon Guy: Cleaning, doing laundry and watching the game
Me: Baseball? Didn’t you just do laundry?
Marathon Guy: Like a week ago I did. Ya baseball
Me: That’s a lot of clothes to go through
Marathon Guy: Actually no, hence the frequent washing
Me: Maybe you should buy more
Marathon Guy: I’m in the process

Really? Two dates and we’re discussing his lack of clothing? And that’s all we end up chatting about? Not “what are you up to this weekend” or “maybe we should get together?”

I'm not looking for flowers and candles, but I am looking for someone who is at least interested enough to put in the effort to ask me out. Until then, there are going to be a lot of single nights ahead.


SaneAndSingle said...

Sadly, men don't ask in advance anymore. They call at the last minute to "hang out". :(

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Hmm, well I always like to ask well in advance, S&S.
This guys seems a bit BLUH to me. Ditch him.

jo said...

it's not like i expect waay in advance or that i don't like some impromptu spontaneity but guys kinda do need to ask to meet up at least for the first few times.

Dater at Large said...

S&S: Ah "hanging out", the bane of my dating experience!

PMFOOW: He IS blah, which is a bummer since he started out so strongly!

Jo: I'm totally with you, just looking for *some* effort here!

Look for his kicked to the curb haiku later this week :-)