False Starts: Marathon Guy

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
marathon stranger
promising start, quick decline
sprinters don’t finish

Despite a “this never happens to me” meeting story and a very successful first date with Marathon Guy things have officially ended.

I had my doubts as to my interest level after our second date but I kept at it because we had started off so well. I asked him out twice, for different days and different activities, demonstrating (at least in my mind) clear interest in seeing him. Both invites were declined, because he had other plans, but neither came with a counter offer. After one random “how u doing” text message late on a Friday - the same week I had asked him out twice - I stopped hearing from him completely.

I’m a little surprised that he just disappeared since he had seemed so interested the few weeks prior, but his actions clearly state that he’s not interested. Not that he’s shy, not that he’s busy, they indicate that he’s not interested. Or he's completely clueless about dating.

Do you know why? Because the counter offer is standard dating practice. It’s how you express interest when you aren’t available or don’t want to do what someone suggested initially. Not counter offering is what you do when you don’t want to go out with that person at all.

New relationships won't take off if at least one of the parties is making an effort to express interest in the other. In this case, I was willing to go the distance but I was all alone on the course.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been so quick to dub him "Marathon" guy. Seems like more of a sprinter to me.


plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Ah, the counter offer...so annoying when it doesn't come. Great way of describing something which everyone can connect to.
Oh, and for future reference, don't pay any attention to anything boys text you after 10pm...

Kate said...

Men can't live with em.... yeah thats pretty much it. I think you are definitely better off without a short distance sprinter..... no fun there.


jo said...

well traditionally a marathoner's pace is slower than a sprinter... but yes, if he doesn't counter offer or try and keep in touch then it's probably best to just cut him off.

Dater at Large said...

PMFOOW: Weeknight after 10p is usually still okay in my book. Weekend though is clearly the start of booty call text :)

Kate: You're so right. Sprinters are only fun if there's a little something something going on. I didn't even get that far with Marathon Guy!

Jo: Technically I'm not cutting him off, he's disappeared. But if he reappears he won't get any love from me!