And It Only Got Worse.

Lunch with the Karaoke King went fine despite his recent admission of wanting to smother me… I was quite distracted by my get groceries / work Friday / meet friends for dinner / head out of town plan, but he couldn’t have been happier with the Mediterranean place I had chosen so he was content to listen to me babble while eating hummus. We parted in front of my office (no kiss, thankfully!) and then things went downhill in rapid succession.

First I got a text message later that same afternoon saying he’d had a “wonderful time” at lunch followed by an emoticon that I couldn’t decipher. The magic of the internet and K’s little brother’s know how later we arrived at a translation that definitively required clarification from the Karaoke King. He said on his BBM it had meant hugs. Translated onto my phone it meant vagina. I obviously didn’t tell HIM that, but I didn’t have much time to chat because I really did have a million things to get to before the weekend.

Friday afternoon he sent me a text message stating the following: that he couldn’t wait to see my hair (I had gotten it cut Thursday night), that he hoped I had figured out my shop/pack/travel plan and that he hoped my day was going well. I didn’t even see the message until I left the office after 5p, at which point I received a second text, which said he hoped I was already on my way and to have a safe drive up to the lakehouse. And he signed it “smooches”. Oh, and he also included a picture with the message, which was of his face looking into his phone. It was creepy, and I was running late, so I put my phone in my purse and kept moving towards my weekend.

He called me about 3 hours later, when I was in the car (still on the way to the lakehouse) and left a voicemail. For those of you following along at home, that’s 3 messages in the span of approximately 7 hours, with no response from me.

Saturday morning I received a text saying he hoped I had a good run and that he would be rooting for Ghana in soccer later that day (they were one of my teams in the office pool). And now the count is at 4 messages in less than 24-hours with no response.

You all know my rules! This was a serious violation. I sent him back a friendly text Saturday morning, but made it clear I didn’t check my phone at the lakehouse (i.e. stop stalking me!). Sunday morning I received a message around 3 AM. Paraphrased it read: I know I can’t talk to you right now, but I just want to hold you and kiss you. You’re the woman I want to be with!

Oh. My. God. Around this time my cousin and mom sent me a photo text of themselves, saying they missed me while I was out on my run. And then later that day, the 4th of July, I received a photo text from the Karaoke King, saying something like “here’s where I am” with a picture of a firework.

The Karaoke King had pretty much destroyed any inclination I had towards dating him in a mere 72 hours. It wasn't a record, but I was going to have to put the brakes on the excessive texting. Immediately. Perhaps a text message poem might do the trick?

I do not like your constant pings, I do not like them Karaoke King.
I do not like them late at night, I do not like them left and right.
I do not like to see your pics, your mushy words make me quite sick.
I will not reply to your constant pings, stop sending them to me Karaoke King!