Fishing Hole Review: Social Mixers

Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Can you really meet men anywhere? People are always telling me to volunteer or join a club to meet men since I have such consistently poor luck with online dating and have sworn off dating co-workers. People who did not meet their signifanct others at such places, mind you, are making these suggestions.

I’m nothing if not open minded, so rather than join a team for a sport I don’t play, I started by attending a social mixer. While the term may bring to mind visions of dance partners and spiked fruit punch it turns out the format has been modernized. A friend of a friend regularly hosts Minglers, right here in Chicago.

Here’s how she describes it:
30 to 60 diverse strangers
+ all ages, all sexualities, any relationship status
+ snacks and drinks
+ music
+ games
+ a comfy Roscoe Village home
Mac ‘n Cheese Minglers

Since it’s not specifically a single’s event I thought the vibe would be more relaxed, and I might even be able to meet some new gals pals in addition to a new romantic interest. After missing a few dates due to scheduling conflicts I finally made the guest list.

+ The event is casual and low cost ($15 + an assigned snack: appetizer, wine/beer or dessert)
+ You can attend as many Minglers as you want with a low likelihood of seeing the same folks as the hostess tries to stick to strangers on the guest list
- You only get the one shot to make a connection with someone specific, because you will likely not see them at future Minglers but
+ You can request contact information through the hostess after the event if you don’t get the opportunity at the event. There is also a Facebook page where you can hunt on your own.

+ The attendees are definitely diverse in terms of age, race, gender, careers, etc.
- You aren't guaranteed that anyone is there looking for love, and if there is, you aren't able to distinguish them from those who are attached romantically

+ There are aptly termed “mixer” games that allow you to easily start talking to anyone there
- One of the games we played had us grouped, which was great for getting to know the folks in your group better, but didn’t give you as much freedom to spend time with whoever you wanted

Final Recommendation: I had a really good time at the Mingler, but if I were to attend again I‘d keep my eye on the prize. In my attempt to “mingle” I ended up having short conversations with basically everyone there, instead of looking to meet people who I enjoyed and spending more time getting to know them. There were definitely some men I thought had potential, but I never really focused in on them. I acted more the like the host of a party than a guest with purpose.

I was contacted after the Mingler, but only for my cupcake recipe. I may attend again when the weather is nice - our real hostess has a gorgeous outdoor deck - but I’ll aim to make more of an impression this time around.


jo said...

i really have no idea where to meet men. apparently they are everywhere. but somehow it's still really hard to find someone suitable. the mingler sounded like fun though i would feel slightly awkward if i had to go on my own.