Reeling in the Big Fish

Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Once I embraced online dating, there was no stopping me. I tried to be creative with my postings, you know, going outside the run of the mill lists of why I was great and what my favorable personal attributes were. Oh and of course a long list of what a suitable boyfriend should be. I figured that my writing savvy would attract the kind of guy who would find me witty, intelligent and fun.

Some of my posts were more effective than others. The below is a sampling from a few month period:
  • Redhead Special. Get it while its hot. This was early in my online foray and clearly before I understood what words not to use, including ‘redhead’ and ‘hot’. I think it goes without saying what sort of responses this title generated.
  • Sushi Sunday - looking for a dinner date tonight. Super successful, I actually went on several sushi dates from this post.
  • Wednesday Afternoon Haiku Challenge. Referring to a series of failed dates/relationship haikus I had written (which I‘ll post for your enjoyment). Sadly the ones I got back weren’t anything special, and some were kind of weird. None of them were particularly funny, like mine.
  • Date for the Roller Derby. I thought drinking beer while watching tough chicks roller skate around in a semi-violent race would be a great way to get to know someone. Most of the responders really wanted to see derby, but most were also socially awkward (both over email and in person on their screening dates).
  • The Male Hotness Equation. In which I asked responders to rate themselves across ten weighted attributes factor list of characteristics my friends and I had made up way back when in a bar. Unfortunately the ratings were suggestive so I wasn’t actually able to plug the numbers into an equation and all of them wanted their grades. And extra credit, yikes!
  • The “Ideal” Post. I listed 5 things I thought would be ideal for my new boyfriend including his zip code, height, hair color, interest in running and a last name that started with a “K”. Not everyone got the sarcasm.
  • Save me from another hundred pages of 12th century England? I was reading Pillars of the Earth and it was taking FOREVER to finish. Seemed like a good idea, but I got mostly responses I couldn’t comprehend back, citing authors I didn’t know and rhetoric I was unable to respond to.
  • The Pick Up Artist. I was making fun of the VH1 reality show but instead tapped into the world of PUA, previously unknown to me. I even chatted with a guy that knew the host of the show, Mystery. I did learn more than I needed to about the PUA way of life, but none of those guys even wanted to date me.
  • Is it lame that I’m having a Star Wars marathon today? This garnered exactly the kind of responses you’d expect. First, the Star Wars obsessed thinking they had finally found their Leia, and second, a very serious discussion of early versus the recent films: plotline, special effects, etc.
When you’re fishing you need to be where the fish are, but once you’re there its all about the bait. It didn’t really matter what I wrote in the posting, most responses are driven by the photo, and I always included one.

I’d like to think I attracted a somewhat more respectable suitor than your average CL post but then again I’m not your average worm.