Awhile back I was chatting with an old friend I hadn’t spoken to in years and after we exchanged the usual catch-up pleasantries: jobs, relationships, etc., he mentioned that I sounded really happy, at peace. I hadn’t really thought about it that way, but when he said that I realized I was those things. After a few years of struggling to figure out how to balance my personal life with my professional one, I had learned to prioritize what was important and purge what wasn’t.
It was a very satisfying revelation, that I had figured out what I wanted from life and was basically living it. I had a great set of friends, good relationships with my family and a thriving social life. My career was going well and I still had time for hobbies and travel. Thing was, I hadn’t really found a significant other along the way and that was something, is something, that I do want.
I’d had relationships, sure, some of them quite serious in nature, but none that ever crossed over into the long-term, committed relationship I was looking for. I could blame it on special circumstances and bad timing, I’ve had plenty of both, but I also don’t think I ever really gave dating the focus it needs. Being in a relationship takes time and energy and putting yourself “out there”; I don’t think I gave my relationships those things.
I realized that like most things worth having, a great relationship wasn’t going to drop into my lap, I had to put in the effort if I wanted to find an honest to goodness boyfriend. I decided I would go after a relationship like I had gone after everything I’d worked for, with determination, confidence and a good sense of humor. Hopefully I’d also run into a little bit of luck.
Righting the Courtship chronicles my adventures into the uncharted waters of modern dating. Hope you don't get seasick... its going to be a bumpy ride!