April Showers Bring May… Blind Dates?

Friday night I had a few neighbors over for drinks and dinner, and one of my neighbors asked if she could bring a guy for me. Man, when it rains date referrals from friends it pours! She had apparently just purchased furniture from him although he at one time was an actor and had been on 90210 (the original, I assume) and thought he was funny and good looking and sweet because he was taking his aunt out to dinner so would it be okay if he came later? I said sure, it was already going to one of those get togethers.

The group was pretty sauced by the time he arrived, so I’ll give it to him for being able to fit in easily. He seemed like a good guy, despite asking me at least three times whether I was sure that AT&T had blocked Swype from my phone (I am as of what the internets told me last time I checked) and whether I’d read all the books on my book shelves (I have, except for White House Ghosts). I’m guessing there’s more to him under the surface of his West Coast demeanor… he did specifically ask about a historical work I had on the shelf and recommended one of his favorites. And he brought homemade wine with him, which was half way decent when mixed in with my sangria.

I didn’t really make an effort to get to know him, though, and he left to meet up with other friends about an hour after arriving, so I was surprised when my neighbor asked me what I wanted her to tell him when he asked her about me.

"You think he’s going to ask about me?", I responded, thinking that we’d barely interacted and I hadn’t been very outgoing. "Uh, yeah", she replied, and when I thought about it we had really both seen all we’d needed to in order to know whether we were interested in a second get together.

It was pleasantly efficient, much better than a drawn out actual first date. And with my recent first date under my belt (which I promise I'll be telling you about soon enough!), I could really see the benefit of comparison shopping for boyfriends. You see this guy was okay, but he wasn’t as good at Blind Date #1. This guy was like waterproof shoes that get the job done, but Blind Date #1 had the potential to be that perfect pair of wellies that you find you simply cannot live without. You know, like when it's raining all the time?

He’s a Laywer. Or a Dentist.

One of my character flaws is that I have a hard time focusing. Often this translates to me not listening to people. Not because I’m not a good listener, I have an excellent memory and can almost always read between the lines. No, it’s because I’m simply not paying attention to what someone is saying when they say it. I’m focused elsewhere, like on the sports that are playing behind the person talking.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter, I never see the people I wasn’t listening to again. More often than not it comes back to bite me, like when friends of friends tell me their names but I’m too busy sipping my drink to retain it. Then I start running into those folks over and over again and they remember me and while I can place them, I can’t recall their name to save my life.

This appears to have happened with Blind Date #1. We originally met at German Fest, and while I may have been paying attention on that day I was also drinking large steins of beir. But while I’ve been given the spiel on him over and over by my gal pal, obviously I wasn’t ever listening. Because I think he’s a lawyer. Or a dentist.

As my brother pointed out, these are not at all the same. No, no they’re not. But I also happen to think he works for – or took over – a family business. And both of these professions would lend themselves to that additional partially remembered tidbit.

It doesn’t matter what he does, of course, but it might score me some bonus points for remembering it despite having not spent any real time chatting with him over the past several years.

He’s a lawyer, as it turns out. We are headed out on our first date later this week, as he'll be in the city for court. Unless he’ll be there testifying as an oral health expert, like those 3 out of 4 guys recommending Colgate, in which case he’s a dentist.

I Have Blind Date For You

Sunday night I was prepping for beddy-bye when I got a text message from a gal pal that started with “I have blind date for you”. Although the rest of the text read like a message from a friend, something about that first line made me think I was being spammed. “Are you serious?” I replied, trying to draw out whether some random non-native English speaker had gotten a hold of my friend’s cell. She replied in the affirmative, along with some useful adjectives describing her find.

I never get to go on blind dates! Obviously the allure of something I haven’t experienced makes them more appealing then they’ll likely turn out to be, but still. So I thanked her for thinking of me and told her she could introduce us.

After a few back and forth texts she came back with “I have not one, but two dates for you!” and proceeds to give me the scoop on the good friend of hers that she has been suggesting I date for approximately 6 years. It appears we are both single. Can she introduce us, too?

I wasn’t against the idea, but I was a little concerned about two blind date prospects at once. It’s time consuming enough getting to know one person, let along multiple. Plus overlapping time frames results in comparison shopping. Well comparison dating, I mean. It’s unavoidable.

I asked her whether she wanted to do that, pit her longtime fave against some old co-worker, but it was too late. She’d already sent Facebook messages to each of us.

They basically went like: Dater at Large, Blind Date. Blind date, Dater at Large. Discuss.

I wasn’t sure what I thought her internet introduction would be, but I guess I thought it would have more… content. Something to go off of, other than our Facebook profile pictures. Now for the one guy that I’d already met, I knew I’d be able to write something, but for the other guy, the one I didn’t know at all, I have to say I was a little stumped.

Best to let the boys reach out first. They are competing for me, after all.

Free to a Good Home

Quite unexpectedly, Summer Boy and I crossed paths again and on a whim decided to go out for drinks. He and I have never gone out for drinks, and we haven’t spoken in months, either, but I simply couldn’t resist when the opportunity presented itself. Besides, he’s leaving the great city of Chicago later this month and deserves a proper send off.

We had an excellent time, next day hangovers notwithstanding. He is as great a guy as I thought he was and I still think we would have made a great couple.

We’re heading our separate ways, though, which means he’s available to a good central Illinois single gal. That’s right; I have the perfect guy for you! I never thought I’d be plugging an ex (although technically we never dated) on my dating blog, but the Universe sometimes has ideas of his own.

He’s quite a catch. He’s a guy’s guy, which in my terms means he knows how to use tools and a grill, and will humor only so much of your girly crap. He’s got a soft side, too, which makes for a nice balance. He’s a gentleman, but not the kind that makes a show of it. He’s athletic, and likes but doesn’t obsess over sports. He snuggles without smothering. He’s attractive, and not just looks wise. I think he’s one of those guys everyone gets along with. He loves his family, and I’m pretty sure wants one of his own. Also, he’s great in the sack.

Well, he is.

There you have it. Should you be interested, please contact me for further details and contact information. Serious inquiries only!

I Just Met Your Future Husband

Recently my cousin sent me an email to ask if I was seeing anyone. She also called me, mid-work day, to ask the same question. Now I almost never answer my cell phone at work, but I picked up because this cousin is getting married soon and I am her MOH. This requires me to be available when I might otherwise not be.

She was ecstatic to hear I was still single because she believed she had met my future husband while he was doing some work where she lives. I can only imagine what he thinks about me given the third degree he must have been given by my cousin and the terribly flattering, but limited, description she gave him of me: beautiful, funny, smart and athletic. His highlights include:

• He is an adorable 28-year old who is both SUPER cute and very nice
• He seems to be something of an entrepreneur, having previously owned a business and currently working in sales, but is also working towards being a police man
• He loves to work out and run, having quit smoking several months ago (Cold turkey! With no cheating!)
• And… most important… he has a full head of hair

This last one is pretty amusing, if only because I can’t recall ever caring about hair. In fact, I think the close cropped/fully shaved/bald situation is pretty attractive. Very Ed Harris. I digress.

Her darling find was going to be out of town for work for a few additional weeks, and my cousin wondered if I wanted to reach out to him, given that he was also a bit shy.

By all accounts he seemed like a decent guy so despite being a little worried about his age, four years isn’t much but he is younger than I am, I said she was free to give him my email, or sure, if she wanted to give me his I’d reach out.

I decided to leave out my concern that her excitement about this find was probably skewed by the fact that she herself was madly in love and planning a wedding. Besides, if we start dating now he could definitely be my plus one at the wedding.

that's the way the whole durned human comedy keeps perpetuatin' itself

No sooner had than the words “I’m on a (dating) break” come out of my mouth when I received an email from a friend and reader of this blog with the subject line: Someone wants to meet you.

Here’s the deal. My friend/reader of this blog also reads a blog about a TV show written by her law school buddy. The TV show blog is also read by the law school buddy’s co-worker and the co-worker’s very good friend. Let’s call the co-worker’s very good friend Duder. Duder finds my friend’s comments interesting and clicks on her name. He sees that she follows another blog, Righting the Courtship. He starts reading and is intrigued by Dater at Large. He wants to meet her – which he passes back to his friend’s co-worker’s law school buddy.

Now I am serious about needing a dating break, dear readers, so serious that I sent emails to the three guys I had just started emailing from a recent CL posting to inform them of this news and apologize for having not realized said break was needed before posting on CraigsList (surprisingly, all of them sent back very sweet emails thanking me for my honesty and hoping my romantic optimism came back soon).

I am also working through several concerns tied to having a dating blog. Mostly that it (a) could be having a negative impact on the success of my dating and (b) creates a world of hurt when discovered by a current subject of its content.

So I tell my friend that instead of categorically saying “no” I’ll think about whether saying “yes” is a good idea or not. While thinking, I happen to check the email account associated with the blog – since I write anonymously I have a separate email that I rarely check – and I have an email with the subject line: As a new follower of your blog.

The email is from Duder, and it’s basically the story I just told you. He very generously states of my blog that “the first screen's worth of posts is all I needed to know I had stumbled upon a great find,” and goes on to say that after reading a few recent posts he decides to start from the beginning. This is where he realizes there is a different author for the first few posts (originally I blogged with my real name, but then I “anonymized” the blog, clearly not that well), and here’s the kicker, he realizes that Dater at Large is the same woman he’s been emailing with from CraigsList.

Got that? My friend’s law school buddy’s co-worker’s friend is the same guy I just rejected on CraigsList. And now he’s reading my blog, about dating, which he found through a 4th removed personal connection to me. And he still wants to meet me.

The Universe needs to give this girl a break. Am I wrong?

I Have the Perfect Guy for You… My High School Buddy’s Wife’s Cousin

I got the nicest email ever, in which a high school buddy laid out why he thinks he has a great guy for me, after complimenting the blog. The thing that’s so nice about it is he actually thought about why this guy would be a good match for me, instead of the usual "you’re both single".

The referral has the usual pros:

• He is by far the nicest person I have ever met and has a heart of gold
• I think you guys would have a lot in common
• He is 34-36 and recently got his Masters
• He loves running and traveling

And then references to things that I would definitely find attractive:

• He was a college track star and loves everything outdoors
• He worked while he made way through his Masters program
• He "might" be able to match [me] intellectually and has a very witty sense of humor
• He meets [my] requirement of drinking a good ol' PBR from a mug and throwing darts

He even gets the super secret bonus points! This guy loves soccer. There are three things I personally hate but know my future mate will love. One of them is Soccer.

The only rub is that he’s kind of far away. When I MapQuested where my buddy lives it turns out its 427 miles from Chicago. Yikes.

I was offered a photo, which I declined, I assume someone I know wouldn’t try to set me up with a troll. And I said of course I would meet him. How could I say no? My buddy said "I just caught myself reading your blog and thought of [him] right away".

You know who is the nicest guy ever? My high school buddy. I’m not sure whether I’ll hit it off with his wife’s cousin, but I’m certainly willing to give it a try. Even it means driving to the middle of nowhere to go on a double date.